Wednesday, April 15, 2009

They Can Have My Teabags When They Pry Them From My Cold, Dead, Hands

Around lunch time we were trying to drive through the worst fucking intersection in Boston for ignorant, selfish, and clueless pedestrians (Summer St and Surface Rd) when I noticed one female in the herd carrying a large tea bag sign - something about irresponsible government spending or something. My window being down I began to yell out to the tea bagger (to make a scene and also draw my coworkers' attention).

Me: Tea Baggers! Heeeey, Tea Baggers!

Dave: What?

Me: Tea Baggers. Because it's Tax Day these fucking loony tunes are organizing "tea parties" to protest the government and taxes. And it's fucking hilarious that they're calling each other tea baggers, and they keep saying, "I can't wait to tea bag fellow Republicans."

Dave: Why?

Me: Tea bagging is slang for a sex act. It means sucking on someone's balls.

Worker #3: Ok.

Dave: I agree with them. I'm sick of paying taxes. They should get rid of taxes and give everyone guns.

Me: What the fuck!? What the fuck does one have to do with the other!?

Dave: Get rid of the government. Let everyone govern themselves with guns.

Me: Ok, then why not give everyone a free donut. That makes about as much sense.

Dave: We can do that.

No comments:

Post a Comment