Dave: So I was working out at the gym and there's this really hot blonde that's been talking to me. She's about 40.
Me: Oh yeah?
Dave: Yeah, I so want to fuck her. She told me her name but I already can't remember it.
Me: I have that problem too. Just ask her again.
Dave: It's right on the tip of my tongue. It's... it's... fuck, I can't remember.
Me: Is it Claire?
Dave: No.
Me: You sure?
Dave: Yeah.
Me: Marie? It's gotta be Marie.
Dave: Hmm. No, that's not it either.
Me: Like I said, just ask her.
Dave: I'm gonna ask the gym manager. He knows everyone.
Me: There you go.
Dave: I used to work out at this other place and there was this hot Asian bitch there. She was Phillipino right.
Me: Okay.
Dave: I so wanted to fuck her. So I take her out on a date - and this is when I started dating my girlfriend right - and I take her out to check on my tree stand. So we're out in the woods all alone and she says to me, "I. So. Hor-ney." Ha ha ha ha ha ha, I couldn't stop laughing. It was such a turn-off. I mean, I was totally turned-off.
Me: Heh.
Dave: I was so, I don't know... turned off I guess.
Me: Right.
Dave: So I took her out again - again, I was still dating my girlfriend - and we went dancing. She spent the whole night dancing with..
Me: Another guy?
Dave: No, fifteen other girls.
Me: Nice.
Dave: So I decided that this wasn't going to work out.
Me: That's too bad.
Dave: So we went out again a third time. I took her out to dinner and a movie. And then I fucked her so hard! I fucked her sideways.
Me: Ooh, high score for difficulty.
Dave: Huh... So after I'm done I dump her ass... It turns out she's married! Ha ha ha ha.
Me: You two had a lot in common.
Dave: Not really.
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