Dave: How about that huh?
Me: I.. guess.
Dave: She won't date anybody because she has kids but she asked me out. I'm thinking about throwing her a shot.
Me: Okay... What the fuck are you talking about?
Dave: The 35 year old. She's so fucking hot.
Me: Okay, is this someone you met at the gym?
Dave: Yeah! She doesn't want to date anyone because of her kids; they get all close to her boyfriends and shit and then they leave. I just want to fuck her and not meet her kids so that's not a problem.. I'm going to take take pictures too as a proof of purchase.
Me: Ha! Okay then. I'm at least sorta on your page now.
Dave: Yeah so I'm thinking of throwing her a shot but I don't know where to place it?
Me: Which hole?
Dave: Yeah..... I'm thinking her ass; maybe her mouth.
Me: *snort* Are you gonna go for it?
Dave: No, I love my girlfriend too much.
Me: I'm surprised.
Dave: She's riding the red wagon right now so she thinks I'm off cheating on her whenever I'm at work or at the gym or whatever.
Me: Well, does she have reason to think that?
Me: How did you meet your girlfriend?
Dave: Yeah, yeah I was cheating on my wife with her but I was separated then - separated but living together.
Me: Holy shit! You guys were still living together then? I didn't know that.
Dave: Yeah but I just waited until she passed out all fucked up before doing anything.. I used to fuck her once she passed out; she didn't know. She'd take her oxycontin until she'd be a fucking retard and then I could stick it anywhere I wanted... her ear... her nostril.... anywhere I wanted.
Me: That's impressive.
Dave: Heh heh, yeah.