Thursday, August 6, 2009

Save It For Later

Dave: Yeah, so me and my girlfriend were at the bar down at the beach the other night.

Me: Oh yeah? That's good you got out.

Dave: Yeah, so this girl comes over at like 1:30 - and she's wicked drunk. I mean, she's like falling over - and she comes over and she's all hanging on my arm.

Me: Oh yeah?

Dave: And she's wicked cute too.

Me: Of course.

Dave: So the bouncer comes over and asks me if I want him to escort her out. I know the guy and I tell him she's fine, but then my girlfriend lurches across me to tell him to get her the fuck out of here so he takes her away.

Me: Aw, too bad.

Dave: But I go out on the beach to get some fresh air later right, and while I'm out there I hear some moaning. So I'm looking around to find out where it's coming from and I see it's that broad that got thrown out. She's face down in the sand passed out.

Me: I know where this is going.

Dave: He he, so I go over to where she is and she's all fucked up.

Me: Rough shape.

Dave: Yeah, so I pull out my dick. I'm gonna fuck this broad. She was cute.

Me: I know. You said that already.

Dave: So I'm standing over her when I hear, "Dave! Dave! What the fuck are you doing over there?" It's my girlfriend; she came looking for me. I told her I was taking a piss, "do you mind?"

Me: Smart.

Dave: Yeah, then she comes over and sees the drunk bitch there and says, "You were gonna fuck her weren't you!?"

Me: And you were.

Dave: Yeah but she didn't know that. I was gonna fuck her so hard. Stick it in her ear. Her mouth. I was gonna cum in her hair.

Me: That's called rape y'know.

Dave: Eh, not really.

1 comment:

  1. your coworker, or one of my family members. yikes either way.