Me: Oh yeah?
Dave: Yeah any of the half-way decent women up there always have a fat fucking beast friend with them.
Me: Ah the old Better By Comparison maneuver.
Dave: Exactly. But they need to be distracted and separated from the hot girl so you can get your shot.
Me: Of course, the uglies aren't there for emotional support either y'know; they're there for action too.
Dave: Yeah but no one ever wants to take one for the team. I always end up doing it so my buddy can get lucky.
Me: Aw, you're a stand-up guy, Dave.
Dave: I know! And it's so weird because I'm always the one that's chatting up the girls and getting them interested in us.
Me: Yeah you're a regular Chatty Cathy. You talk up everyone we encounter.
Dave: Yeah, well I do all the work getting the girls partying with us he always ends up going home with the hot girl. I do good starting off but he's the a... a... a good, um..
Me: Closer? He can close the deal?
Dave: That's it!
Me: So you're like Josh Beckett and he's like Jonathon Papelbon?