Empty Nest

Dave: I don't know what's going on with me - I keep getting hot flashes and low grade fevers. Sometimes I feel like I'm gonna pass out. It's not good.

Me: It's probably menopause.

Dave: You think? I don't know what's going on.

Me: You're almost 50, it's probably menopause.

Dave: Man, that sucks.

Me: Yeah but it's just the next stage in your life.

Dave: I guess.

Bonus: Dave's urinary habits (Reposted from 3/23/09)

Reposted from 3/23/09.


As urban surveyors, we have to find creative ways to relieve ourselves after 2 big cups of coffee and however many bottles of water. The most common way to achieve this is to open the van door for blockage and using a catch basin or just the ground. During Dave's first go at this maneuver today he called my attention to view the dark color of his urine as well as to comment on its smell. As I looked I noticed it dripping around the border of the door.

Me: What the fuck!? Are you pissing on my door!?

Dave: Yeah. Heh heh heh.

Me: What the fuck is your problem!? I don't want to smell that shit.

Dave: Hee hee hee. *wipes down inside of door with his outer pant leg*

Later on in the day Dave uses the doorinal again and I actually turn to watch because of the last occasion. I see the same thing happening.

Me: Arrgh!! What the fuck are you doing!!? You're pissing on my door again!

Dave: Heh heh heh, yeah. It wasn't my fault. Whenever I shake it when I'm done that happens. *wipes down inside of door with his outer pant leg*

Me: You suck.

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I totally didn't think to include this today and just mentioned it to my wife. The following conversation just took place:

Me: Yeah, Dave, pee, dumb, etc.

Wife: Oh my god, that's disgusting. And you're going to be picking me up in that thing tomorrow?

Me: Yeah.

Wife: May I suggest you open the door for me from the inside?

Me: Oh, he peed on the inside of the door not the outside.

Wife: Eeeew! Can I sit in the back?

Me: You can. He wiped it down with his leg.

Wife: Can I just say I fucking hate Dave.